Lately I’ve had very little time to myself and I’ve been kind of overwhelmed. Hence the lack of posting on social media, my blog and general retreat from the technological world. The last few weeks have been filled with details and planning for everyone else- my best friend got married this past weekend so between the bachelorette weekend and the wedding it’s as if I haven’t had a free moment. I was also dealing with a shortage of hours from my second job and some work related stress to top it all off. It’s been really hard to stick to a routine lately. I’m happy to be back linking up with Running with Spoons for Thinking Out Loud Thursday’s though!
When I first started working two jobs, it was definitely an adjustment for me, but one I was able to handle fairly well. Although not set in stone, my schedule at my second job was pretty consistent over the summer months- three days a week (two weeknights and one weekend day). This meant that, while challenging, I was able to work around a schedule that included blogging, running and training and working and stick to it pretty consistently.
However, with the quickly approaching fall months, it became more challenging as my time was given over to more wedding planning and less “me” time. Despite the fact that I am an outwardly social person, anyone who knows me knows I do enjoy my solitary time. It’s absolutely essential for me to take time off to recharge my batteries- whether that means my weekly Sunday “escapes” from the world or some other form of rest and relaxation. There wasn’t much of that to go around so far in October.
The first week of October I didn’t work my second job at all (they were cutting back on scheduling) so I sort of got off my routine. I was running whenever I wanted, blogging whenever I wanted and working last minute bachelorette planning into that as well. The weekend of October 10th was the bachelorette weekend. It was slightly challenging for me to be in a room filled with women I don’t normally spend my time with for an entire weekend (remember that recharging thing I mentioned?). However, it went as well as it could and I’m pretty sure the bride had a fun night, which is the important thing. This also meant a lack of sleep though. Being that I wake up at 4 am for work during the week, I hadn’t had a good night’s sleep since the Saturday before.
Then the week before the wedding was the first week I went back on my “double” shift days- working 15-16 hours per day three days that week. So not only was I tired from a lack of sleep the previous week, but now I’m on my feet literally the entire day without a break. On top of all this, add the stress of wedding planning and figuring out scheduling for the coming weekend to the mix and you have for a pretty crazy Montana! The wedding weekend came and it was probably one of the craziest weekend’s I’ve had in a while. It was constant running around and going to and from appointments (I had my nails done for the first time in over a year!). Saturday was a lot of back and forth and Sunday, though relaxing because we were getting pampered, was a bit crazy too with timing and moving from one venue to the next. The wedding went great though, and she looked beautiful, so it was worth it!
Once again, a weekend with very little sleep, followed by my same early morning work schedule this week. Only now I had to make a decision for myself.
Originally I was supposed to attend the wedding of an acquaintance this coming Saturday. This girl and I were pretty good friends at one point a few years ago, but life and work have gotten in the way the past few years and we rarely talk now. I still like her, but wouldn’t consider her a close friend at this point in our relationship. Thus I made the difficult decision to cancel my plans to attend her wedding Saturday. I just decided that I needed some time for myself- to get back to doing what I love and be able to have fun with people I chose to hang out with, not ones I’m forced to spend time with. There is also something going on Saturday (I can’t say what yet!) that I really wanted to do- and I decided that I’d missed out on enough things I wanted to due because of wedding planning this month already. What I can tell you is that I will be back in the mud at Savage race Saturday morning followed by a fun filled day and I can’t wait! Sunday I’m planning on getting back to a relaxing weekend- sleep, food, snuggling- you know. The important things in life.
For the first time in a while, I’m really looking forward to this weekend as one where I have no obligations other than to do completely what I want. No weddings, no events, no work- just me doing what I love and hanging out with the people who mean the most to me. It’s really important to step back and take time like that to be yourself and do what you love to do. I’m working on learning to not feel guilty by disappointing others. I might go crazy otherwise!
What have you been doing lately? Have you ever stopped going all the time and just said no?